Gottcha! My identity was totally not stolen but I thought it might get some of you to read at least the first line of this post. Ha!
This is a post about my identity though and it does feel a bit hijacked at the moment, but it’s something I need to come to terms with.
Before about a year ago, I was many things: daughter, sister, wife, graphic designer, logistics master (not a real job, I just like to think I’m good at logistics), special event planner, business relationship manager, doggie mom, runner, soccer player…But all that shifted about a week after I found out I was pregnant. Then I was all those things plus pregnant, and a few weeks later I was all those things except runner and soccer player and I was sick and pregnant with twins!
Just before Thanksgiving, I quit working and then on December 9th, everything changed again and I became: mother, daughter, sister, wife, graphic designer, logistics master, doggie mom, tired, cow.
Then…(are you sick of this yet), just last week things changed a bit and now I’m: mother, daughter, sister, wife of an orthopedic surgeon resident, graphic designer, logistics master, doggie mom, tired, cow.
And that’s really where this begins. With Patrick’s residency beginning in just a few weeks, I realized that we are about to acquire a whole new social circle. I’m actually really excited about this. I’m looking forward to meeting his fellow residents and their families. The weird part about it is that none of the people we’re about to be thrown into residency with have any idea what I was all about BEFORE babies, and before I stopped working. For so long, working has been a huge part of who I am and I’ve really enjoyed the work I’ve done, especially the graphic design (which I still do freelance at home), and the event planning. I feel like I have a lot to offer and without a real job, I haven’t quite figured out how to let people know that yes, I am smart, and talented, and even sometimes fun! I am also independent and a little part of me is afraid that the only thing these new people are going to see me as is Patrick’s wife. I am absolutely proud to be Patrick’s wife, but I’m also just me and I hope I can figure out a way to share that with the newbies!
I feel pretty weird about putting a photo of just me (well, me and my crow’s feet) in this post but hey, it’s just about me, so who cares. Also, I feel even weirder/worse writing a post with no pictures, so, here I am!
I totally hear you!!! It’s hard when you feel like the things that helped identify you are no longer playing an active role in your life. I had knee surgery two months before I started dating my husband and he’s never known the “ballet-me.” It’s so strange because ballet has shaped my life and has been a big part of who I am. It’s hard to not have him understand that and to only tell him what it was like, instead of having him support me through the exhaustion of rehearsals and the highs of performances. As for you, you don’t need to figure out how to find your own identity with the newbies. Your natural personality will stand out on its own and you’ll be amazing!! Melinda
I’ll always know the “ballet-you!” I’ve also loved following the “mom-you!” You are incredible and beautiful!
Beautifully written….welcome to the ancient world of womanhood. You do know, I hope, that the one who must know who you really are is you. It is so easy to fall into the overwhelming, but oh so important, role of wife and mother and forget yourself. Lucky for you, I think your family and your husband will continue to remind and support you, and every one else will see it because it is who you are. Love you and your posts, K
Hey there! I just found your blog and had to say hi! I am a fellow doctors wife and blogger. We are towards the end of our journey (graduating fellowship next month) and wanted to say if you ever need any advice or just to vent feel free to message me. I have def been there done that! Great blog-excited to read more 🙂
http://www.kellysreality.com
Hey Kelly, thanks for reaching out! I look forward to reading your blog and will let you know if I have any questions or need to vent about being a doctors wife. How did you find my blog?
For sure 🙂 I was just googling doctors wives blogs and yours came up. I love connecting with other girls who can commiserate. Nice meeting you!